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"Having been an Outed
Cat Lady for a lifetime,
I am delighted to meet the Outest. Regarding the feminine gender,
my only reservation is that the many male cat lovers I know make
us look conservative by comparison."
-- Betty White
Emmy®Award-winning actress
and lifelong animal advocate
Outing the Cat Lady
is a joyful affirmation of being a woman who loves cats too much--or
perhaps loves too many cats. The reader is encouraged by a narrator
calling herself "The World's Outest Cat Lady"--who
sounds like Miss Manners on catnip--to admit that she, too, is
a Cat Lady, and to "come Out" with courage, with attitude,
and with style.
You need to admit you are a Cat Lady if:
Chapter 1: You have ever actually exchanged
money for a cat.
The acquisition of a cat, either by purchasing, adopting
from a shelter or rescue, or, more likely, by minding your own
business and being adopted
by a cat.
Chapter 2: Your several cats are all named "Kitty."
Names a Cat Lady might select for her own cats, if
she could remember them at any given moment.
Chapter 3: Most of your
wardrobe consists of cat-themed fleece.
The fashionable Cat Lady outlook on the "Out look."
Or, what a Cat Lady wishes she could wear, and the compromises that look best with cat
hair.
Chapter 4: You have ever
selected flooring or furniture to match your cat.
Home furnishings and decorating, Cat Lady style.
Chapter 5: Even though
you live alone, you require a king-size bed just for you and
your cats.
Commentary on
some of the more confounding issues that Cat Ladies face in sharing
their lives with Feline-Americans: opposable thumbs and litterbox
archaeology, to name but two.
Chapter 6: A cat has ever
contracted ringworm from you.
A troubleshooting
guide to common feline ailments and how a Cat Lady confidently
copes.
Chapter 7: You know which
cat is the father of the new kittens, because it happened under
your bed.
The life cycle of cats, from kitten to geezer in the blink of
an eye, as observed by the Cat Lady, and the case for spaying/neutering.
Chapter 8: You have ever
had a dead cat in the refrigerator.
Q & A with the Cat Lady on a variety of topics, from the
ridiculous to the slightly less ridiculous.
(A: Yes, I have.)
Chapter 9: You have learned
to have sex in spite of the cat watching--or trying to participate.
When the Cat Lady needs a little human companionship, there's
no reason why the cat can't join the fun. Like you have any choice
in the matter.
Chapter 10: Bonus: You
have selected any of the above, and you are a man.
In praise of the
Cat Daddy, and how some of them can be even more lovably eccentric
than their Cat Lady counterparts. |
